The Art of Thirdwheeling

Let me tell you this: I am one of the best third-wheelers you may come across. At first, it kind of sucks because you’re jealous and you’re sad because you wish you were more….I don’t know…couple-y? How about this: you wish you were more like them. You wish that you could run to a boy and ask him to cuddle with you without it feeling super awkwa863tricyclerd and weird or you could have a guy grab your waist in the middle of public, making you grin so wide that it makes your face hurt.

After a while, though, you get bored with the third wheeling. You just walk away when you see a sign of public displays of affection. Then, again, you could dress it up into an art. And like me, you may learn how to have fun with it. Well, after doing it for a while. I have third wheeled more than the amount of times I’ve been in a relationship. Or hooked up with for that matter.

You’re judging me right now…I can feel it. But what else do you expect me to do? Run around in a circle and cry my eyes out, hoping that the sky will rain down with beautiful men?

Yeah…I don’t think so.

I will be honest with you, though: you should probably stay away from the couples who can’t keep their hands off each other. Because that’s actually really awkward.

But, if anything, couples are no more than just friends. Well, a good relationship would be like that, and that’s usually how it is. I don’t have a problem with a couple holding hands at dinner when I’m sitting with them or sharing a quick peck on the lips. If I was a couple with a third-wheeler, I would probably do the same. There’s no use in pretending that the relationship doesn’t exist.

There is something quite unique that I did come across today: I met a couple who refuse to hold hands in public. They’ll do all they want in privacy, but they won’t do PDA. Why? Because they don’t want to make other people around them feel bad about not having a significant other to giggle with also. Why? Because they’ve been in their shoes before. And it sucks.

And, to be quite frank, third wheeling is the bsalt-pepper-and-cuminest. The couple that I’m with usually act as my wingmen. Sometimes, it gets really intense and they’ll play, “Have you met Chelsea?” and then shove me in front of a boy. It’s embarrassing but I love them for doing it. I mean, come on. At least, they’re thinking of me.

Now, that I’m 447 words of the way through this post, I just realized how unproductive this post actually is. And if there is a lesson out of this, it’s a pretty lame and undeveloped one, so I apologize. But truth is, why should you feel shameful of third wheeling? Why does being single mean that you can’t have fun as well? If anything, you’ve got not puppet strings attached to your arms and you’re not obligated to do shit for anyone.

And yeah, I’m a little sad that I don’t have a cuddle buddy or a boy next to me. But I’m not that sad. Actually, I really don’t give a shit. And you really shouldn’t either if you’re the third wheel. Make a joke out of the relationship or play around with the couple. It’s totally okay. But respect them when they want privacy and you’ve got to learn that it’s okay to be alone. I love being able to admire men and not feel guilty about it or to flirt with guys that I won’t feel attached to.

It may not be your thing, but it definitely doesn’t have to bring you down. As a matter of fact, it really shouldn’t bring you down. And if it does, just don’t think about it or walk away. Thirdwheeling isn’t exactly the most ideal position to be in 24/7.

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