You walk around all the time and people always go, “Hey, you get to choose your friends. You get to choose who you want to be. So be yourself.”
But, here’s my complaint: sure, you can be yourself. But that doesn’t mean you still get to choose who your friends are. Because your friends may not even choose you.
You see, the first step to making a friend is to meet a person. And, usually, you befriend people who look like nice people and who look like they could be your friend. This is all before you even meet them. People talk to you based on how you look, unless they’re forced into conversation.
So, in a way, you don’t get to choose. And it’s ironic to think that the one thing you can’t choose is the one thing people judge you on: looks. You get to choose how you dress, but you can’t change your olive skin tone or how your hair frizzes up 90% of the time. It’s not something we can control.
That’s so sad. But true.
What really bothers me is how people try to control these looks, by getting nose jobs or fake tans, and think it looks good. Nothing fake looks that great….because it looks fake. That’s the ugly truth. If you can’t control something, why would you waste your money and your time on trying to control it if it’s just going to look terrible?
But, I guess here comes the real question: how do we deal with the fact that we can’t control these things?
One. A person is truly a bitch if they don’t want to approach you just because you don’t match their looks standards. And, when I said almost everyone approaches people who they think look nice, then I guess we’re all kind of bitchy.
Two. Don’t make other people feel this way. Be outgoing. Talk to everyone, and then judge them based on how they act in conversation. It’s a lot different from how they look, trust me.
Three. Focus on how you want to be as a person. If you can’t control something, then don’t waste your time on it. This is one factor that you can’t control, and there are multiple other things that you can control, like your personality and your style. Control it then. Don’t look like a slob if you don’t want to. This is you. Your looks are you. Yet, nature has given you some leeway in helping you control yourself, not all of you, but most of you. So take every chance you’ve got.
Four. Standards of what is “pretty” are weird and dumb. It’s strange because when people meet other people, we base it on how other people look and if they meet our standards. So then that brings the question, “How do you view yourself?” Do you view yourself as pretty or not? And if you do, do you aim for the “hottest” girls on the magazines or people who match your looks?
There comes the question of self-perception. You can’t control your looks. You can’t control other people. So how do you make friends and fit in the community? What do you think your role is in your community?