Selfie Sticks: “Narcissticks”

First of all, have you seen these things? They’re the simplest forms of corporate genius. Why haven’t we

selfie-stick-539498gotten this earlier?

It’s amazing how our society centers so much on capitalism, and the best idea we can come up with is selfie sticks. It’s literally a stick with a little cell phone holder at the end. Cavemen could have come up with this.

I’m not saying selfie sticks are dumb because they’re not: businesses are awesome for thinking of this idea. I just was expecting us to come up with flying cars and invisible skyscrapers instead of making thin metal rods that extend 3 feet in front of us. However, I’ve heard multiple opinions on the selfie stick, and not all of them are good. I’ve heard satirical comments about how there are already companies who center around making these “narcissticks”…but, I mean did we not see this coming?

When I heard this phrase being used, I thought, “Damn, are we really that selfish?” It’s not that the sticks made us love ourselves, but it was this fad that popped up a couple years ago where cell phones could finally take pictures on the front of the screen so you can make sure you actually look good instead of turning your flip-phone around and try to guesstimate where your face will appear on the screen. So, yeah, we’re pretty selfish people, considering this newly developed feature of front cameras and the popularity of Snap Chat.

I love Snap Chat, but I draw the line when people retake and retake pictures of themselves to look good in the picture. The point of the ghost on the app is to say, “No matter how ugly your damn picture looks, the other person can only see it for about 10 seconds max and it’s gone.” But, then people found a way to screenshot the pictures as quickly as possible so on your birthday or something, they can post the most unattractive selfie you sent to them through Snap Chat on Facebook. Permanently there.

And businesses KNOW that we’re selfish human beings. These sticks have only come out recently, but I honestly predict that they’re going to be extremely popular very soon where sixth graders will probably carrying expandable metal rods inside their backpacks. Now, imagine this: since (almost) everyone now takes selfies left and right, I’m thinking that selfie stick 2(almost) everyone in a couple years will be carrying these selfie sticks.

Sounds a little dangerous to be honest. People would be walking around downtown holding sticks in the air with cell phones stuck on the end. Your cell phone may fall off if it’s not properly secured (may lead to a huge lawsuit, oh my) or you may actually hit other people in the face because you’re too busy taking a fucking picture of yourself.

Maybe the problem isn’t necessarily the stick, but rather the idea of taking pictures of ourselves. I mean how ridiculous do you think you look to an outsider when you’re taking a selfie? And not just a selfie. You took that selfie at least twice and probably 20 times before you sent it on Snap Chat (don’t lie to me). Maybe we just need to point the camera away from our own faces and towards the rest of the world.

What do you think? Have you bought the selfie stick?

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