Warning: this may be my rant on the naivety of girls my age, and possibly my disgust for this naivety and innocent thought that relationships last forever. Remember that you don’t have to agree with everything I say: we are all entitled to our own opinions. So, in my opinion, this may be the worst Love Game of them all. I would like to start with a quote that essentially a lot of girls with this mindset say in fluffier, less obvious ways.
Because we are going to live happily ever after.
(*Note that this is in future tense)
I consider myself to be not only an individualist, but a strong realist. Not an optimist or a pessimist. I go into relationships thinking that they won’t last and they will soon end, which is a concept that I am whole-heartedly expecting you to judge me for. It’s probably because I’m not expecting to meet my significant other anytime soon, hence the individualism and independency mindset. Who knows: this may screw me over when I’m 40 years old and single.
When my friends come up to me and say, “He’s the one,” I’m not sure exactly how to respond. Because how do you respond to the statement, “Oh we’re going to get married and have several kids and move back to our hometown”? My whole body wants to bend over laughing, because I wish that my friend could hear him or herself say that, but another part of me has to keep this poker face who nods her head and says, “Sure.”
That kind of makes me a shitty friend.
So I guess here’s the first and foremost question: why do girls think that the boy they’re with is the one? My hypothesis is that people use this as an excuse for being with the guy. If you’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend or have been around anyone who has one, then you should know that “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” takes up 50% of the 24 hours in a day. So you have 12 hours to eat, sleep, and do productive work. Now, this 50% is not intentional by any means, but rather it’s the little minutes that people spend texting each other and hanging out with each other and skyping each other that adds up to these 12 hours. So, what’s the excuse? Well, it’s that “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” is a productive use of time, and we say they are productive because we are “investing” in our future.
AKA. We are going to get married and live happily ever after.
Here’s my hypothetical solution, per se. If you’re going to marry and live happily ever after, you’ve got years and years to make out and talk. YOU’VE GOT SO MUCH TIME. If he really likes you, then he’s going to be able to let you do productive things, like living your life on your own, without taking up half your time. It’s a shame how many girls I watch go from independent woman to being tied up with their boyfriends because they don’t know how to keep their hands off him.
The probability that a couple at the age of 18 thinking this way and will stay together forever is close to slim. Girls like to come up with excuses saying that they’re in that slim minority. Maybe they’re right. I don’t know – I could be wrong.
But then again, what if I’m right? You just wasted a majority of your life on the one person who chose to not only absorb every little secret you have, but to also run away with them, in which they are no longer secrets, and proceed to make you a tragic mess in the process.
I hate this. I’m not even dating anyone, and I hate this. I’m not opposed to relationships, but I’m opposed to spending all your time with the other person. We weren’t born as couples; we were born as individuals who could live their own lives and make their own plans. Maybe your plan is to marry that one person?
Or maybe that’s just a dream.