Carrying Shame

Don’t be a nub and watch the video. I don’t care if you’re homophobic, because even if you are, you have the same exact problems as Ellen Page.

After watching that video, it made me realize that we all carry secrets. It’s true that you can never achieve full happiness or always be 100% happy and never sad because you can’t experience happiness without experiencing sadness. That’s the yin/yang theory.

But these secrets that we carry hold us back from reaching that happiness or that self-actualization we want to reach. Every little thing that you hide from the world is another step away from being happy. I’m not saying you should let out your secrets, because you shouldn’t. But I am saying that you shouldn’t keep secrets about yourself that you’re ashamed of, because that’s what will make you unhappy.

When you’re carrying shame, you’re literally carrying boulders on your back. Are you ashamed of what Youtube videos you like to watch? Are you ashamed that your eyes aren’t blue enough to make guys think that you’re special when you look at them?

Yes, you are. You’re ashamed. But you know what? You can’t do anything to fix that. You can’t do anything to fix your physical appearances or to fix the things that make you truly happy. Sure, you can try to fix it. You can try to go watch “Gossip Girl” because that’s what all the popular girls are doing, but you may not enjoy it.

And that’s okay. It’s okay to not like what other people like, because if you did, the world would be boring and nobody would want to be your friend; they want to be society’s friend. What you like is what makes you unique, and I know it’s difficult to figure out your likes and dislikes because so many of the things that we discover are told to us with biased opinions and comments.

shameThe first place to start is with your appearances. I guarantee you that you have at least one physical flaw about you that you absolutely hate and that you are so ashamed of. Instead of trying to think about getting that nose job that will make your face look “so much prettier”, accept the flaw. Because it’s only a flaw if you say it is a flaw. As a matter of fact, it can be an asset. I don’t care if your nostrils open as wide as the Grand Canyon when you laugh so hard. I don’t care if your lips are too thin when you don’t put lipstick on. I don’t give a crap if you think your body is messed up. Sure, you can try to fix it, but the only way to fix it is to accept it first. If you don’t think anybody’s going to love you for that, then you should at least love yourself for that.

It’s a journey. The only thing worst than carrying that boulder is dropping it back down on the ground. But we all carry shame, and we should, at least, try to get rid of it. This being said, you probably shouldn’t walk around telling everyone what you’re ashamed of, but tell someone. Someone who will listen and is not the most judgmental person you’ve ever met. Someone who cares and someone who will help you throw away that shame.

 

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